“It was stuck in a state of collapse, this pit - a tiny, organ-shaped singularity, sucking down the bleeding ravaged bits of who she used to be.”

Flip-flopping since I read the last word, I can’t decide on my final rating for Sawkill Girls. Do I stick with my gut rating, the one that’s stayed with me for most of the of book, or let the rating change to the feeling growing inside as I distance myself from it? The book itself is a masterful creation of stark imagery and dark, seedy plot, but I couldn’t be sucked into its depths.

Born with a curse, Val has never known what it means to be free. Her grandmother always said to keep something for herself - something from him. But his pull is getting stronger and, with the new family in town, she has her work cut out for her. Marion has a lot on her shoulders. She’s the rock in her family. The one keeping them all moving since her father’s death. But now that they’ve moved to Sawkill, she can’t keep it together. And then Zoey, the outcast, isn’t helping the situation much, scouring the town for her missing best friend. As the number of bodies grows higher, these three girls find themselves as the island’s only possible savior.

Writing out my notes, I can’t pinpoint the exact reasons why I don’t like the book. The POVs where weird with the third person narrations and the watered down personalities. No… I never questioned who was talking, and didn’t Bardugo use third person POV in Six of Crows. The story would have played out differently otherwise. Each girl was distinct, unique, with her own diverse characteristics that didn't fall into the cookie cutter templates used by most.

I find myself with a book that I can’t actually review, for every time I think of something that doesn’t work, I can list a million reasons why the exact opposite is true - how Legrand was a master at her craft and created brilliance.

So let’s talk about the one thing that blew my mind away - and it has to do with sex. What a topic… A hot one at that (pun totally intended). Diversity is more than race, skin color. It’s also social, economic, and sexual. Legrand has a lovely diverse cast in skin tone, but she also pushed the boundaries on sexual orientation, posing questions that I don’t believe a lot of kids even realize are ok questions to ask.

I recently watched On Chesil Beach with my husband, and a myriad of questions came pouring out of  me. The movie questioned the emphasis on sexual intercourse in our culture. How, if woman can’t perform, or desire it on the flip of a dime after marriage, there is something terribly wrong with them. And men, not being able to see past their own performance, can’t hold a conversation. Why do the magazines and society, place a healthy and happy relationship on the amount of times you have sex a week?

Well Legrand brings up asexuality in her book, a great time when impressionable minds are absorbing and learning. She places the question right out in front. I appreciate how she kept it real for each character, letting their reactions stay accurate, but in the end, they were able to sit and discuss it.

While writing this review, I took a break to go to the book club meeting for Sawkill Girls. I’m not alone in my thoughts. Everyone else was on the fence too, struggling with different aspects that took them outside the story. Some though the plot was too fast, maybe better to have been divided into multiple books. One couldn’t see past the diverse topics, feeling each one was more of a checklist of topics to cover then part of the plot. And who thought Grayson was a believable sixteen-year-old boy with a grasp of his emotions? I was hoping to have a clear view point after the meeting but I’m still stuck.

Though I don’t think this book is a waste of time, I ask you to make your own judgement. There are some beautiful moments and the most common point in our meeting was that the imagery and writing was top notch. We all said the island was clearly pictured and the opening scene like the opening moment in a movie, setting the tone and stage for the rest that played out. I wish this could have been more inciteful. What I can say is that this book has stuck with me even days after finishing it and I don’t see it leaving me anytime soon. For now I’ll leave it at 3.5 stars but if you follow me on Goodreads, you might see that change someday. And maybe the point is that I’m meant to read this book again.

Happy Reading

Love Kait

Reading Challenge: 2/100