Kick.

Punch.

Kick.

Back flip.

Repeat that sequence five hundred times and you’ve seen Birds of Prey. The movie was pretty much one continuous action scene with barely any character or story. I hate to write that because I really wanted the movie to blow me away. And maybe that’s the problem. I went in with my expectations too high. Most people disagree with me, but writing and character wise, Suicide Squad was a lot better. 

*queue rewind scene*

Let me start again from the beginning. 

Birds of Prey was the female empowerment movie we’ve needed. It wasn’t a rip off of some male dominated franchise. No Oceans 8 or Ghost Busters. No riding on someone else’s coat tails claiming that the females are taking over the game. If this is going to be a woman’s world we need to be able to make our own stories, and that’s exactly what Birds of Prey did. It was just like every male action movie but with glitter. 

Here is where Birds of Prey did things right.

One… The aesthetic. Mind blown like Harley’s glitter gun. Every scene was candy for the eyes. Dark and dirty, yet with a feminine air that never felt girlish. I wish I could dress like the cast every day. And the details… the art department had too much fun. They turned pom poms and glitter into an adult’s game. Please sell me a tinsel jack. Just take my money. And I’ll take one of those gold jumpsuits too. I’ve never cared so much about sets and costumes until this movie. Well besides the period pieces which we watch for the costumes and sets.

Two… Fighting. We’re women and unlike all the predecessors that made women fight like men, Birds of Prey finally made them fight like the women they are. Women cannot do much damage with a punch. We just aren’t built with the same upper body strength as men. Yes, I feel the angry emails coming in. There are women out there that have defied these odds and are just as strong, but that isn’t the norm. Especially not for someone with Harley’s body type. Instead, we need to learn to use our whole body in a fight. That’s exactly what they did Birds of Prey. It was a breath of fresh air. And the fighting was non stop awesomeness. Just because it was a continuous action scene does not mean that I didn’t love every minute of the action. 

Three… The tiny details showing that women are strong and powerful creatures. The part where Harley gives Canary a hair tie… my heart is still crying in joy. Those are the moments all women have wanted to be shown in movies. 

That’s it folks. That’s all I have to say. You should just click away before you read the rest. There’s no reason for you to spoil all the happy things about the movie. Don’t continue reading…

Don’t say I never warned you.

Where Birds of Prey paid attention to the reception of the movie, they lost in the actual story. *Sigh*. It was just so bad. For starters, I never understood why I was hating the antagonist. I get it, he kills people, he wants Harley dead, he wants to rule all of Gotham, but why? Why is he the man he is? You’re just telling me why I should hate the man but never actually showing me? Just because he’s horrible to Harley is not enough for me to scream “cut his balls off”. Sorry. I’m just not that kind of feminist. 

And why does everyone really hate Harley? Fine, she was a brat when she was with the Joker, but where’s the emotional connection to really understand the hatred? Maybe this is where the lack of a middle movie didn’t help the cause. I was told again and again how to feel in the movie. This is not the way to make a story. I was pulled out over and over because I was never emotionally invested. 

Let’s also leave the exposition at home. I don’t need to be told the same thing three times. 

But the worst transgression that had me pulling out my hair was with the restaurant owner. This massive emotional moment for Harley, that essential set up a huge plot point, was introduced five minutes before it happened. Like what even? How am I supposed to care about anything when I’m shown the trigger and then it’s pulled the very next scene. Yup. Nope. It fell flatter than a run over tomato. 

Oh well… I guess you can’t expect to have your cake and eat it too. 

I still don’t understand how they missed these glaringly obvious issues. Like who says the movie is okay to be released?

Maybe someday they’ll hire me to write and direct one of these movies.

Happy Watching

Love Kait