I’ve read most of John Green’s books. Some have been good (Paper Towns), some not bad (Fault in our Stars), but others, not so great. This is the case with Turtles All the Way Down. Let’s start with the good items. Green’s depictions were decent, the inner monologues decent, but this is a story, not a random journal. And though I nod at his attempt to put a voice to teenage mental disorders, touching on topics that aren’t covered well today, his overall plot, characters and perspective are just not working. After finding out that it took him six years to write this, I was even more disappointed.

Six years and the biggest plot of the story, minus Aza’s battle with her disorder, was a disappearing father? This spurred the encounter between Aza and Davis. An encounter that seems a little far-fetched for a character like Aza. I mean, what normal kid says, “Hey, let’s trespass to look at some camera footage”, let alone someone with the mental battles that Aza faces? I was required to take a long jump with that one. Then the money ordeal between Davis and Aza is another story. In the end, I was required to make too many jumps. So many that I really wanted to stay in one place and give up.

In terms of character development, this felt more like a creative writing class assignment than a 6 novel writer. Green more or less went down a writing checklist. Give characters distinct characteristics. Check.

Though I don’t mind male authors writing from the female perspective, I do feel that some of the nuances of our minds are lost. I mean, they really can’t understand us since they aren’t in there. This was a big problem with Turtles All the Way Down. Multiple times I struggled with the inner workings of Aza’s mind. Some moments made me question whether she was actually a gay teenage boy. I personally prefer Green’s stories told from the male perspective.

Let’s talk about that climax. Another reason that the storyline of a disappearing father was not mixing well. The ending felt rushed and thrown together, more like Green just wanted to hurry and have it over with. Instead of using the dad as a side story and having Aza’s mental disorder as the main story, it pulled so much attention that, I as the reader, couldn’t just focus on what the main topic really should have been, Aza’s life with the disorder. If Green’s plan was to have Aza’s mental disorder be the main story, it didn’t come across that way.

And if the missing dad, boyfriend, mental disorders, and dead parents weren’t enough, let’s discuss the topic of economic differences. Really? The story was already a hot mess of hodgepodge storylines, why do you want to add another totally different topic? I think that Green wanted to show that even if your life seems like hell, there might be another soul out there that thinks it’s heaven. Still, this was just too much to handle on top of everything else that was thrown at us. We all ready had the kitchen sink, we didn’t need the recycling as well.

I promise this is my final rant about this book. But seriously… that fan fiction…? Sorry but that doesn’t make your story hipper or up with the times. Instead, it annoyed everyone else (if by everyone else, I mean me). Let’s not reference anymore to the new Star Wars franchise. And is Aza really that shallow to have never read a single one of her friend’s stories? Another large jump that I was forced to endure.

So if you haven’t noticed, I’m not a fan. I did give it a solid 3 stars on GoodReads. Green’s attempt to broach an important topic is what saved him. I just wanted to like it more for the effort that he put into it.